About a week ago Gaia finally found her feet. She caught hold of one of her toes and hasn’t willingly let go since. I, of course, beamed with pride and gushed “Ooooooo! Good job baby girl! You are the smartest, most wonderful, most talented baby in the whole wide world!! You. Are. A GENIUS!” It’s true. Minutes later when she managed to roll to her side unassisted I thought the neighbors might come over to check I wasn’t having a mild seizure. The sheer volume of my praise sent the dog into a barking fit that lasted almost five minutes. Am I logically aware that these are pretty average milestones in the life of an infant? Yes. Did that stop me from documenting the occurrences with hundreds of photos in mere hours and passing the momentous news on to my husband, my parents, my in-laws and Gaia’s Godmother? No.
Working in a variety of childcare settings I’ve grown to hate those parents. You know, the ones who chalk every instance of good/bad/ugly behavior up to the belief they cling to blindly…
“Oh,” they proclaim proudly “my child is gifted.”
Alas I can feel myself quickly becoming one of them. I have visions of Gaia standing at the corner of the stage during a ballet recital sucking on her tutu and picking her nose while the other little girls pirouette around her.
“Isn’t she wonderful?” I’ll say to no one in particular. “I’ve always said she had her own sense of rhythm that’s just sooo above the other girls.”
I hate myself already. Or, you know, I would if my daughter wasn't genuinely gifted. Obviously. Ahem.
To make matters worse it’s not just milestones met that send me into a frenzy. At numerous points throughout my day I find myself consumed with staring at Gaia in awe. “There’s just no denying it,” I think to myself “I have given birth to the world’s most adorable baby.” Desperate to maintain to my last shred of sanity I’m always quick to give my head a shake and remind myself that all mothers feel the same about their children. Still today I woke up to a message from a friend that made me feel slightly less crazy. Apparently she’d been showing a friend pictures of Gaia when the mere sight of my baby caused him to proclaim “SHE’S SO FUCKING CUTE IT’S LIKE SHE FELL OUT OF A UNICORN’S ASS AND IS MADE OF RAINBOWS AND SPRINKLES!”
HAH! I KNEW IT!
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