Planet G

Two days before I found out I was pregnant I bought two pairs of the most indulgent six-inch heels. I traded them in exchange for over three hundred dollars, my entire bank balance. I fell in love with them the moment I slid them on my feet at danced around the store with glee. One pair was outrageous in purple patent shine and smooth grey suede with a stripper-worthy platform. You know, a classy stripper of course. The other pair was only slightly more wearable. Luxurious caramel leather with multiple wide straps that crossed well past my ankles. They were finished in the perfect teak without a hint of that shine that makes a wood heel look cheap. Oh. My. Goodness. I’m drooling just thinking about them now. They were exquisite. The evening I bought them was spent trying them on with every article of clothing in my closet, stopping periodically to bat my eyelashes at them admiringly.

The first thing I did when I found out I was pregnant was return them both. Before I told Jose or my family or saw a doctor or dealt with the news in any emotionally mature way I did a final lap of my house in the gorgeous shoes, placed them delicately back into their boxes and took them back to the store. If you’re not a shoe person this may seem ridiculous to you, but that was the first time in my life I had ever returned a shoe. It was like giving away a child (my two hundred and forty seventh born). I think about those shoes every day. Not because I miss them or because I wish they were in my closet today, but because those shoes will forever represent the moment I became a mother. For a girl like me those shoes were my first act of sacrifice and I didn’t think twice. I had no idea what I was going to do after I returned those shoes, but I had an inkling that three hundred dollars might come in handy.

Since Gaia was born we’ve gotten pretty much everything we’ve needed with the help of a variety of generous friends. I can’t stress enough how lucky we are to have so many amazing and generous people around us. It chokes me up to think about it. Still there was one thing, however unessential, I felt we were missing. I wanted a baby gym and I wanted one bad. One sure sign of Gaia’s maturity seems to be that we’re finding it harder and harder to fill the gaps between feedings and naps. The bottom line? She’s been getting bored. Today after a quick look at my finances it appeared I could afford diapers, food and a little something extra so we headed to the mall. Gaia was fast asleep when we arrived so I figured I could sneak in a little shopping for myself. I perused Vancouver’s finest. Shoes and handbags and dresses and more. I should have been in shopping heaven, but like growing apart from your best friend in high school, my favourite old stores just didn’t hold their same appeal. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but somehow shopping just didn’t seem satisfying and I didn’t buy a single thing. Gasp!

When Gaia started to stir I steered us full speed ahead for Babies-R-Us. There amongst the aisles was the very thing I’ve been coveting while struggling to keep Gaia entertained for the past few weeks – a Fisher Price Precious Planet Deluxe Musical Activity Gym. I scooped it up and I felt that familiar stir. On my way out I grabbed some three to six month bottle nipples to replace the newborn ones we’ve been using and a Spanish speaking Baby Einstein Octoplush. Paying for my purchases I felt it. The supreme satisfaction of buying something you really, really want. When we got home Gaia watched me eagerly from her Bumbo as I constructed her new world (a world I’ve appropriately coined Planet G). We spent the next hour lying on the floor together listening to a plastic Polar Bear sing us songs as we swatted the dangling animals above our head. At one point Gaia caught a glimpse of herself in the sunshine mirror hanging above her and regardless of whether she recognised it or not she promptly welcomed the reflection with a barrage of coos and giggles. My heart swelled with the same consumer satisfaction I’d felt eleven months earlier with the shoes.













Becoming a mother wasn’t as jarring as I was expecting. I was ready for the sleepless nights and often overwhelming responsibility and letting my whole world revolve around someone small enough to fall asleep tucked comfortably in my arms. But the fact that I’ve happily given up designer duds and six inch heels for Fisher Price baby gear, well I don’t think anyone saw that coming.

This is My Brain on Exhaustion

Apparently Gaia’s still growing. As a result I’m too tired to pee much less write a fully formed blog post. Instead I’ll leave you with this...

0-6 Months My Ass!

If anyone knows where to get a baby sun hat that meets the following criteria please let me know:

a) Does not include design elements such as flowers, happy faces, butterflies, bows, ruffles or lace.
b) Is not pink. Well definitely not baby pink, but frankly Gaia’s not into wearing pink’s rebel cousin fuchsia either. At least not on her head.
c) Is not more commonly seen on Little House on the Prairie (curse you bonnet... and all your frilly friends too).
d) Is not a ridiculous (if adorable) designer baby hat that costs thirty dollars or more. And yes, I have seen a number of these hats around the city.
e) Is actually made to fit a baby head. And not just those humongous baby heads (you know who you are) but an average three-month-old head. You would think there would be a size between teeny newborn and gigantic toddler... no?

Until then I’m that bad mother who takes my baby for daily walks in the sun hatless. I know. I should be shot on site.

Speaking of pee (and I was... just up there at the top). I love asparagus. It’s one of the only vegetables I choose to eat. I think I love it mainly because it’s like a wacky science experiment. You eat it for dinner and the smell of your evening pee leaves you initially puzzled until you realise the culprit. Oh asparagus... you got me again! I had asparagus for dinner the other night and finally took the time to learn just why it makes your pee stinky. Enjoy.

WHY DOES YOUR PEE SMELL WHEN YOU EAT ASPARAGUS?
Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan. It is also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs, and in the secretions of skunks. The signature smell occurs when this substance is broken down in your digestive system. Not all people have the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan, so some of you can eat all the asparagus you want without stinking up the place. One study published in the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that only 46 percent of British people tested produced the odour while 100 percent of French people tested did. Insert your favourite French joke here______________.

From Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You’d Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini by Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, MD, specific excerpt found here.

Speaking of Google (which I wasn’t directly although how else do you think I found the information above). What did people do before the internet? Seriously. I know I don’t have a book on asparagus pee in my house. Do you?

With that I really should go to bed. This is getting a little ridiculous. And yes. I’m aware it’s not even 9:00pm.

I ♥ BabyLegs

If you have a child and haven’t heard of BabyLegs you must check them out immediately. The idea is simple enough. They’re essentially mini-legwarmers for the infant to elementary school set. What makes them so fantastic is that they’re tight enough that they stay put on a newborn but stretchy enough to grow with your child well into the school aged years. They’re way cooler then tights, which are ridiculously hard to put on a baby and make diaper changes a breeze. Plus they can be worn as armbands should the mood strike you. I love them because they give the illusion that I’ve dressed Gaia for an outing, when actually I’ve just added a pair of BabyLegs to the onesie she’s been wearing all day at home. Lately, if I’m feeling especially ambitious, I’ve been putting them under the shorts and dresses I bought her for spring and she couldn’t look more adorable. They’re the perfect answer to Saskatchewan’s multiple weather personalities. Can you tell I love them? And the fun doesn’t have to stop this summer! They just came out with a new line called BabyLegs Cool. They’re made from breathable mesh and offer SPF 50 sun protection. Don’t pretend you’re not impressed.

If you’re living in Regina you can find BabyLegs at Hello Baby (2561 Quance Street) and Groovy Mama (3100 13th Avenue), but the selection is limited. After scouring the web for a Canadian supplier to order from I eventually got mine from Baby’s Best Design because they had the most styles availible. They cost the same as in store and they didn’t charge me shipping. Plus I got a bonus pair for free. If you need further incentive my entire shipment arrived less than a week after I made my order. I wish all online shopping was that hassle free.

Tomorrow I promise I’ll go back to writing about something that doesn’t make me sound like a walking, talking (blogging?) infomercial, but for now heed my word and at least go look at the ridiculous array of styles. You won’t be sorry.

I ♥ Etsy

It’s quite possible I’m the last person in the world to hear about Etsy but just in case I feel the need to share the goodness with you. Etsy is a website that allows the creative people of the world to sell their handmade wares to people like me who are constantly searching for something a little more unique than your average mall merch. Believe me, I was a sceptic when Ms. Carey Shaw suggested I peruse the site for a little mid-workday break, but I’m certifiably obsessed now. With thousands of products like clothing, original artwork, jewellery, house wares and more I find myself content to browse for hours at a time. Yes... hours. Check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me:
http://www.etsy.com/

Yes. I am aware I sound like an infomercial but seriously... it’s just that good.

Finally, in case you need further incentive, have a peek at a few of my favourite finds from the past few weeks:

Mixed Metal Rings by KimBDesigns

9 Cameras by CB78

Bird Parade Decorative Mobile by giftsdevine

Sweet.Little.Zebra, Adorable. Little.Giraffe & Tough.Little. Rhinoceros Fine Art Photographs by TheInvisibleCircus

Kitchen Icon Labels by TastySuite

SNUGGS (c) by knitstyle

Cassette Tape Library Baby Onesie by trulysanctuary, Personalized Initial Onesie by claireandjanae & Organic Trike Onsie by inkpony

Stapler Sterling Silver Necklace by ballandchain